This guy is a different kind of mad.

Rusty stumbled upon him on the Rotten Tomatoes forum. He’s a relative newcomer there. I’ll give you a few highlights, but it’s really *really* worth the mind-bogglingness of it all to check out this full thread which should have been a discussion on the Barbarella remake:

Rotten Tomatoes: Gordon Franklin Terry Sr mixes Barbarella with dragons, porn, the bible and politics…

“maybe “they” can do a live-action version of the blond-chick riding the dragon on the Heavy Metal (1981) movie poster–THAT would be awesome!!!!

maybe “they” can sculpt the ENTIRE MOVIE
into look like the Anne and Todd McCaffrey DRAGON RIDERS OF PERN bookcovers.”

Because Barbarella had dragons, right? Right??

“Some people look pretty-okay on the outside but they are really ugly on the inside and only seem to say unpleasant things most of the time.

“I’d buy that for a dollar”
ROBOCOP”

Wait… what?

“There’s a movie: THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY . . .
only today (for our sophiscated, minds’ eyes) THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY would include ideas about Oscar Wilde’s actual writing of the novel in addition to the essential (core) plot of the novel because the THEME of THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY appears in many movies (American Psycho, Psycho, Hellraiser [even])–looking fine outside, yet pretty ugly inside: i mean.”

Hold on… where did Barbarella go?

“A LOT OF beautiful chicks of all skin-tones riding AMAZING DRAGONS all over the world in SUPER 3-D
CAN “make” BARBARELLA an “I-gotta-see-this” movie”

Ok, I’m sensing a bit of a fetish here…

“CLASSICAL MUSIC (JS BACH, WA Mozart, Debussey, Joaquin Rodrigo [my favorites), Trips to the Los Angeles Art Museum, and back issues of HEAVY METAL, EPIC, DRAGON, and even NATIONAL LAMPOON magazines will GIVE US (the STARVING audience) a “good BARBARELLA Film” and maybe a “filone” of fantasy-sub-genre to last us (2 years).”

Bach and Barbarella? Now I’m lost…

“There’s no way I could watch a slavish remake of the 1968 film without a bunch of Dragons and Heavy Metal chicks with bib boobs running around.”

Yeah I’m getting that…

“can barbarella be black and still be barberalla? So the question: if Barbarella were played by Angela Bassett, would she still be Barberalla?

How can you have a talking sponge? SPONGE-BOB is a talking sponge”

Hold on – are we still on Barbarella  here or are we on some other movie with dragons and Spongebob and big-boobed black women?

“Dragons CAN be in Barberalla
YES!
Sponges CAN talk
YES!
The President CAN be black
YES!”

So Obama’s in this movie too? Cool…

“A besutiful black woman to play BARBARELLA:

BEYONCE!!!

according to sources:

White woman are just too plain; too figureless nowadays to play Barbarella”

Aaaargh my head…

“Barbarella: action = Dragons, Palaces, spaceships, distant horizons . . . and beautiful Beyonce.

rethinking Barbarella and Barbarella’s impact on “pop-Culture”

Beyonce is lovely,
Beyonce can sing and dance lux
Beyonce is romantic,
and Beyonce handles herself professionally to such a degree that Barbararella will not cause her to lose any dignity or respect.

Jane Fonda’s Barbarella made women look and sound retarded. “

Beyonce fetish too, huh?

Anyway, skipping about seven comments where Gordon waxes lyrical on the merits of Beyonce in Barbarella and a user commenting their opinion that Gordon is in fact a little bit dim, and we come to this:

“jodiodie lacks dignity by insulting Gordon.

Jodiodie may not be a very nice person en total.

What manner of person would directly insult another person: not a very good person at all.”

Yes, he is referring to himself in third person. o.O Just in case you didn’t catch it the first time:

“concerning Jodiodie (we know the type of person by the “fruit” the person bears)
The “fruit” of Jodiodie’s thoughts toward Gordon manifested into insulting words. Insulting words can only come from insulting-people.

(Gordon’s a thoughtful, “unfettered” guy) thoughts just come out of him”

And then he quotes the bible. Because the bible is, obviously, relevant to the discussion. Isn’t it?

“Jesus speaking in Matthew 7:
Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

I’m so confused.

Skipping on a few more comments in which Gordon keeps playing the pity card at Jodiodie for ‘abusing’ him, and he starts in with the politics (after sending me a private message on the forum asking me if I voted Obama or McCain)…

“I hope no one here voted for McCain and Palin; because voting McCain and Palin probably meant that deep down inside there was a sense of conservatism that included a dislike of blacks in the White House. If you voted McCain DO NOT TALK TO ME, thanks.”

Woah, dude. Issues.

And again, because saying it in one comment wasn’t enough, he comments straight after himself with -

“did people vote for John McCain here or something?
there is such a HARD/Finite sense of “either/or” and “what is right and what is wrong.” Like I’m talking to a bunch of Republican-conservative types.”

Then, still harping on about the bible and politics and ‘bad fruit’, he brings in my user avatar, which is the same one I use here;

“Delyth A. has a picture of a hero with a Devil on her back; figures . . . goldless people; not my kind—But again: you sound like Republicans.

Dude, fight The Devil with prayer man; not with some twisted grin of agony if that’s what you’re striving to do.”

Aaaaaaaargh!

Tags: bashing, brain asplode